Fast food that's fucking slow to make if you do it this way

An excerpt from Fancy Fast Food, a blog pioneering junk food that looks Michelin posh. Strapline below says it all. No bun intended.

A picture of top entrée Wendy's Napoleon (Fancy Baconator Combo) by Adrian Fiorino of Insanewiches with recipe below, read it and retch.


Wendy’s Napoleon
Ingredients:

* 1 Wendy’s Baconator
* 1 large fries
* 1 small Coke
* 1 botte of water
* 2 little cups (or packets) of ketchup
* 12 sugar packets

Disassemble the burger. The cheese may not separate from the meat, but that’s okay. Place the bun in a food processor with 2 tbsp of water and pulse until it resembles couscous. Set aside. Do the same with the fries until it becomes a paste.

Chop the burgers (cheese and all) into pieces with a knife. Place in a food processor and pulse until they look like pate.

To create the Napoleon, cut the french fry container so the top is level. Pack alternating layers of the minced meat, the mashed potato paste, and the bun-turned-“couscous” into the container until it is full. Invert over a plate and wiggle until it is loose.

For the spun sugar garnish, empty twelve packets of sugar into a heavy-bottom saucepan with 1/4 cup of water over medium heat. While stirring, cook mixture until it is a deep brown color (10-15 minutes). Remove from heat and allow to sit 1 min. Over foil, gently flick the sugar back and forth to create a strand-like design.

To make the sauce, put 1/2 cup of Coke and the ketchup into a pan over medium heat. Reduce for five minutes.

Next, crisp up the bacon in a pan for two minutes over medium heat before chopping it into little pieces.

To assemble, gently separate sugar garnish from foil and stick it in the top of the Napoleon. Pour sauce around the Napoleon and then form 4 little piles of bacon around the edges of the plate.

Pour some of the remaining Coke in a wine glass, and there it is: a Fancy Baconator Combo that you might think is waaaay better than the original!